10 Things I'm Terrible At
It’s natural for us to want to put our best foot forward when we are in public. That’s why many of us have childhood memories of a parent chasing us down to put on matching socks or a pretty dress (I hated ruffles btw). Point being, we are trained from an early age that when you are “out” look and act your best.
So that’s what I’ve done to the best of my ability for basically… my whole life, and to be honest it turned out great for me.
However, because of the self-growth junkie I am, I’m turning a new leaf for myself and heading in a different direction, and that direction is vulnerability.
Despite my many accomplishments at the young age of 30, the thing that I’ve failed to do the most is connect with my fellow humans in meaningful ways. In 2018 I started out trying to do that via my YouTube channel, and that has proven to be a successful learning and growing venture.
For 2019 I wanted to kick it up a notch, and was inspired by the ever-wonderful Brene Brown. If I want to connect with my fellow humans better, I have to try and be more vulnerable.
Ugh, what an annoying word right?
Now that’s not to say I haven’t expressed my struggles in the past, but in general, I think my struggles are pretty insignificant compared to the actual state of the world. So I just ignore them until I can improve them.
But what if I was to dive a little deeper, and look for some (maybe insignificant but still important) things that I currently am terrible at.
Well 2019, we are going to start bold, and I’m here to lay them out on the table.
Things I’m Actually Terrible At
Human Connection! Starting strong right? I’ve said it before, but I value the experience of connecting with other humans but I always feel like a fish out of water doing it.
Using sharp objects. Ok to be totally real there was a point in time where my husband seriously didn’t want me to use knives in the kitchen because I just wave them around like Edward Scissorhands. Today I cut a carrot by holding the carrot in the air and air-chopped it into my salad (he didn’t see this). It doesn’t always work out well for me but, it also doesn’t bother me that much.
Knowing what’s cool. Yeah… this is totally a learned skill for me. As in if I want to do something that appears “cool” I have to study it and figure it out. Not everyone is naturally as trendy and stylish as Grace. I have to work to pull off something even remotely on trend. Luckily weird is always sort of cool… so I can get away with that.
Walking. Yep…. Just walking. For some reason I always seem to be looking up and away into the distance instead of looking straight in front of me. This happens ALL OF THE TIME. Because of this, I am constantly falling, tripping… almost gracefully at this point. It is actually so common that my friends don’t even check to see if I’m ok anymore, they know I’m fine… I always get up.
Small talk. OH GOSH I AM TERRIBLE AT THIS. I really want to get better at doing “small talk” this year but honestly it makes me so incredibly uncomfortable that many times I often abruptly stop a conversation and quickly walk away. If my husband is around - oh forget about it I am gone as quickly as he arrives. Ben is great at small talk… I know he can carry the burden for the two of us. Long story short, if I’m not genuinely interested in the content of the conversation, I have a really hard time just making it work.
Sharing my emotions. Emotions…. ugh am I right? * All of the thinking over feeling people say “yeppp”*. Again, they’re usually so insignificant compared to the actual problems in the world. But there is logic behind getting in tune with your emotions because it allows you to actually process your circumstances and retain certain memories at a higher level and thus leverage them better in the future. AND GOSH DARN IT IF THERE IS A LOGICAL REASON…. I guess I’m in.
Not over controlling things. Now I have worked on my control issues A LOT the past few years, and I’ve reduced them down to this; if something is specifically my responsibility, I will happily control it. However if something is someone else responsibility/project/dream/whatever …. It’s all yours. I think that’s also the fairest situation for both parties. What I found happening was the fact that people would get me involved in certain projects because they knew I would take control and basically do all the work and produce the whole thing. The thing is…that is exhausting and I can’t do it for everyone.
Not using “things” to their greatest ability. I’ll be honest, I saved for over a year to buy the fancy Mac Book Pro I’m currently typing this on. Even after putting down that pretty penny for it, I can’t say I even use it to 30% of it’s potential. I only learn the features of things that I absolutely need to get a job done, but I don’t explore them and learn them so that I have those resources on hand and then know what to do with them. Also because of this I’m also constantly in fear that things will implode on me… like my computer… because I really don’t know THAT much about it or why I should have done that software update like … 2 years ago. I also ride on my ability to figure anything out las minute if needed…. And that’s a huge reason why I ignore this stuff 99% of the time.
Taking time for myself. You know… actually chilling and doing nothing. Not working on a blog, video, training, rehearsing, being at work. Doing nothing but relaxing. Yeah I don’t really do that, but I know I need start investing that time into myself more now, so that I can have strong years later in life.
Being Present! So often I’m already thinking about the next thing, the next sequence of life happenings and their planning, that I forget the importance and significance of being where I am in the moment with my whole mind. I’m really working on this, because these moments here on earth are really all we have.
Well that’s all that comes to my mind right now, but I know there is plenty more! Check out the video here: