Answering Questions on Reddit

Answering Questions on Reddit

I’m feeling like amusing myself (and hopefully you as well) today. So, what’s more fun than giving mediocre advice to people on the internet?!


Ok challenge accepted!

I scrolled through some subReddits to find the following questions, and am giving my unsolicited advice here on this blog for the sake of our mutual entertainment.

“Colleague has strong opinions of what I should be doing, but he does the least amount of work. How do I shut him down?”

He throws around theories about how and what I should be doing, but I've developed my habits through hard work and observation on what works. He arrives to work hours late, and won't so an ounce of work without explicitly being told to do so. Very annoying.”

If you’re actually doing your work better than your colleague, then you’ve already metaphorically shut him down in the abstract sense, and will likely end up in a higher position than him that will result in a shut down in reality as well. If his talking is the main annoyance, I suggest headphones and answering with “huh?” everytime he recommends something … sorry I can’t hear you, la la la

“I find myself apologizing... A lot. It just happens. I mess up once and then I apologize for the next 5/6 hours for something that I could’ve let go of and move on from; I, instead, am now escalating the situation to a point it would’ve never have reached if I hadn’t apologized so much and that leads me to apologizing even MORE. What can I do to break the chain? (One thing is to stop messing up; anything else?)”

The only thing you’re doing that’s an actually mess is feeling the need to apologize repeatedly in the first place. Don’t be a Canadian. “Sorry” isn’t an appropriate (or logical) response for situations that simply make you uncomfortable (and then perpetuate your discomfort). You don’t owe sentiments to anyone, probably even in the first place.

“Help with not getting angry - I get really really annoyed when someone talks over me. Internally I really flare up and my immediate response is to keep talking until I finish what I have to say turning it into a volume match of wills. There’s a woman way older than me who keeps doing it and I keep getting more and more annoyed. I really don’t want to say something I regret. How do I deal with this? Do I simply say nothing? Do I cut down the conversations with her? I don’t want to piss her off as she is senior to me.”

Sometimes with people like this, all they can hear is their own voice within their own head. They likely aren’t even hearing you at all. Sometimes you have to say something slightly jarring to get them to snap out of it. I recommend statements like “Excuse me I haven’t finished my sentence yet”, or perhaps “Please let me finish my point”. You need to be louder than their internal voice (which is likely shouting like a hysterical 6 year old).

“Where's the off button for my brain?”

If you find one let me know, I’ve been looking literally all my life.

“What does your underwear drawer look like?”

It’s an epic battle of twisted straps and rogue socks that often spill onto the floor, gets shuffled and kicked, and finally is put to rest in the graveyard that is under my dresser.

“Why Am I Not Motivated?”

Because you are sacrificing temporal pleasure for long standing reward. I’ll fight anyone on that.

“What's the difference between being antisocial/bad at making friends vs having Asperger's syndrome?”

So you're saying what’s the difference between being an INTJ and having Asperger’s right? Lol… well as far as I understand it, people with Asperger’s are more unaware of their ability (or lack of ability) in the friendship making process. They would just be more aware of not having friends. People who are just antisocial generally know they are choosing that route, and are generally aware of what they do or don’t do in social situations that either inspires friendship or dampends it.

“How do squirrels survive the polar vortex? - We're currently at -11 Fahrenheit where I live, with wind chill at -37. What do the poor squirrels (and other animals) do in times like these? I heard about Iguanas freezing and falling out of the trees in Florida the last time they had a cold spell... shouldn't I be seeing squirrels laying around right about now?”

Obviously the squirrels build little squirrel bonfires with their little squirrel families and finally roast up all of those nuts they’ve been hoarding. What else would they have been saving them for… the polar vortex, duh.

Can you legally re-steal something that was stolen from you?

That’s actually an interesting question. I believe you can as long as you aren’t breaking any other legal rules while doing it - like breaking and entering, trespassing, etc.

Realistically, could I get to space in an airtight box tied to a giant balloon? - Not factoring in the ability to return.

No. I’m assuming you’re talking about a giant helium balloon. The farther you get from the earth’s surface, the colder the air will be. Cold temperatures will change the density of the helium, making your balloon shrivel up, never allowing you to make it out of the atmosphere… at least that’s what I think would happen first, I’m sure there would be other complications as well.

What happens to farts that you hold in?

They get reabsorbed by the tiny bacteria in your digestional tract and then are exhaled in their native tongue of Bacillus opera.

“Why don't clouds freeze in extreme temperatures and fall from sky?”

They do. It’s called hail… or snow.

“Why do we constrict our eyebrows in an attempt to look at something closely?”

If the person doesn’t have an actual vision problem, I think it’s our way of trying to narrow in or focus in on one singular aspect of something. We are trying to constrict the noise around the thing by literally narrowing our peripheral vision.

“What should I know for my first ever job interview?”

Always turn a negative into a positive. And interviewer will likely ask you a question that will force you to expose a fault. Flip it! “What is your greatest weakness in the workplace?” Answer: Some people would say that I can be a bit of a perfectionist, but the quality of my work is very important to me.

How can I not be scared of the sun?

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