INTJ: Why I Can Be So Quiet
Why I can be so quiet. How Ni filters Te.
So one thing that I’ve surprised a lot of “real life” friends with since I started my YouTube channel is my ability to … talk.
If you met me in real life, you would know that I save my words. I almost never interrupt people. And everything I say is extremely intentional.
I am an energy dominant INTJ which means I am constantly weighing my expenditure of energy. Add this to the information about my 512 type from Objective Personality and I am also what is called “Blast” first. Blast is the ability to get started, teach, and more or less talk. So why am I so much less talky when compared to other blasters?
The answer I believe is in the order of the first two functions.
The way that I look at a first function, is that it is the function that has the ability to get all of the other functions on board with whatever it wants to do. It’s going to pull the functions closest to it in the stack, and generally use the closer ones the most.
Extroverted Thinking (Te) which is my second function is a more communicative function in many respects, and in general is concerned with the logical workings of things in the outside world. If you think about an ENTJ who has Te first, the kind of person that comes to mind is usually one that is incredibly direct, and has the communication ability to get a whole room on board with a certain goal or idea. ENTJs are great and they absolutely take a lot of the extroverted burden off of an INTJ when it comes to sharing a space.
However one major difference of the ENTJ and INTJ is that the ENTJ is comfortable using extroverted communication, discussion and back and forth with the tribe, as a way to logically hone in on their Ni goal.
As an INTJ, I do this in the opposite direction. My Ni is constantly working as a filter before setting out to expend energy by using up words.
I want to say exactly what needs to be said, nothing more. And often times, there is no reason to say anything at all!
This is what I like to call the Ni point filter.
Any time I am in a discussion, before I speak I am asking myself. What is the point of this? Is this a good reason to speak up? Is this worth expending energy over? Is it worth it for me to even make a point in this context.
With Ni getting all of your other functions on board, it’s extremely selective, and many times a lot of situations don’t make the cut at all!
This is why I believe people with Ni in he top of their function stack (especially first) can be particularly bad at small talk. For us, there is no actual “point” other than perhaps to make someone feel more comfortable, and if you don’t have Fe close by, chances are you will be walking right out of that interaction… like I do, basically all of the time.
My husband who is an ENFP filters his conversations though Ne, which doesn’t need to have one singular point at all. It has a great time making many new fun connections. Because of this, he fills the social void and makes conversation in all of the situations where I simply dip… and run away.
So where do I blast? Where do I expend my energy the most?
I expend my energy through figuring out and solving and getting to those defined points. If there’s nothing to be solved or no point to make, its hard for me to justify the energy to do it. And because of this - especially in social speaking settings - is why I can appear just simply quiet.
The big however.
However, when a topic comes up that I have loaded information on, that is important to me, and the room is metaphorically “just asking” for a point to be made… hold on to your seats. Those are the instances that prove not only my ability to speak, but my ability to speak well, efficiently, directly, and most of all - with a very clearly defined point that justifies the expending of all that word energy!
Are you trying to engage an INTJ in a conversation?
Ask them a question in their expert field.
Ask them theorize about how a certain thing happens.
Mention quantum physics.