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How to Fake the Sensory

Seriously who wants to hear about how I accidentally smashed the 3rd bottle of my favorite salad dressing last week (that wasn’t even opened). Or how I sat down at 10 PM to finally eat the dinner I was really excited about, only to end up wearing it all over my body 30 second later and spend the following 30 mins with spray cleaner, a mop, and deep internal sadness?